The latest Wayne-ism

My cousin, Wayne, is an endless source of misquotes, malapropism and general verbal madness. His latest one had me in stitches. As all my regular readers will know - I've had to return to using my ancient desktop PC, after the sudden demise of my laptop. I have names for my computer. The laptop is Lucretia, the desktop, Godzilla - because it's a lumbering, prehistoric and cranky beast. I said to Wayne, when he called me a few nights ago:
'oh well, I finally got all my security updated, so Godzilla is now up and running safely'.
'Oh yeah', he said, 'I used that, too'.
'Eh?' I said, 'you've lost me'.
'At the Internet cafe', he said. 'I used Godzilla'.
'Er, no you didn't. Godzilla is my old PC'.
'But they had it at the Internet cafe, too. Google Godzilla'.
WTF? Google Godzilla? I was bewildered.
'What do you mean?'
'Y'know, Google Godzilla. It's a thing like Internet Explorer. Y'know, an Interweb browser'.
'Ah. Do you mean Mozilla Firefox?'
'Yes. That's it.'
I'm going to have to keep a score of Wayne-isms as they happen. There have been so many over the years, I could have filled a huge tome with them by now.