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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Heads or Tails Tuesday: I want a divorce!



That's it. I've had enough. I'm seriously considering serving a certain someone with divorce papers. The grounds? Domestic violence and unreasonable behaviour. Well, if we can divorce husbands on such grounds, why not cats?

So what does this have to do with this week's Heads or Tails Tuesday theme (any of the five senses), you may ask. Well, the following tale involves all of them.

First of all, look at what my Leo did to me the other night, as I got out of bed. What a sight, eh?

Excuse the goose-pimples - I took this pic after a bath.


I wasn't aware of his presence in the bedroom until I heard him yowling and banging on things for attention. I flung the bedding aside, and sat on the edge of the bed, ready to get up and attend to He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed. I suddenly felt the most excruciating pain imaginable, as my sense of touch went into overdrive. The little bastard darling had launched a crazed attack on my leg, wrapping himself around it tighter than a boa constrictor, whilst sinking in all his fangs and claws. He must have really been enjoying the taste of my leg, as he refused to let go. I had no choice but to haul him off me by the scruff of his neck, and fling him a few feet away from me. Before I could inspect the damage, I saw him making a second approach, so I threw a slipper at him. It missed, but he got the message, and immediately demanded to be let out. I then spent a very painful night trying to get back to sleep, with my leg smelling profusely of antiseptic cream, and feeling like it had done battle with a sabre-toothed tiger.

I don't know why he does these hateful things. He hasn't been evil for a long time. But I can never truly drop my guard with him, because he has such a Satanic streak. Here's additional proof of his dark, supernatural side.


BTW, my leg now looks even worse than it did in this pic, as the bruising has turned a lovely, black-grape colour. On the subject of He-Who-Must-Be-Obeyed, he's now demanding to be let in. Let me just find my chainmail jeans...

20 comments:

Daisy said...

WOWIE! That was a bad accident you had. Because I am sure it was just a mistake. I must admit that I like to give the bitey too. A lot. But I do not usually make bloods come out.

Natalie said...

Yikes! I give you permission to divorce that cat. Ouch!

the teach said...

Geez, Siani, that seems serious to me. Why don't you take him to the vet and see what's wrong... Am I taking it too seriously? I don't have cats...

FRIGGA said...

I'm sorry, that first picture grossed me out and I scrolled straight to your comments...

Happy HoT 8-)

Liza said...

Uh-oh, I hope your leg is better now. I agree with Mary there must be something wrong with the cat. Btw, I have posted the award you gave me. Thanks again, and be careful he might attack again, lol.

Misty Dawn said...

Oh my - that really looks like it hurt! I think I would have flung him too!

jenn said...

Maybe he just wanted to play???

Skittles said...

OUCH!!! Bad, bad kitty!!!

genny said...

Its an accident but surely we will thank God for keeping us alive.

mine is here http://www.happymomiam.us

Aileni said...

I hope the little devil has clean claws. I am afraid I have a very short fuse with violent animals tending to react somewhat forcefully.We've had a few but this example of yours is very bad.
Take care.
A.

Dragonstar said...

That's really nasty. I do hope they don't infect - cat scratches can be nasty. Sounds to me as if he's going "strange". He might need to go.

Hey it's Amy Shipp said...

Oh my gosh!! you poor thing. :(

vixensden said...

Well that reminded me of why I am a dog person. Maybe its too soon to talk divorce, how about a restraining order? No claws or teeth within 6 feet of your legs?

LadyBanana said...

Oh dear, now I wonder what he was thinking to go that crazy!!

Secret Agent Mama said...

OUCH! See, this is why I don't have cats.. Well, this, and the fact that I'm deathly allergic.

bundle-o-contradictions said...

Wow. My kitties have done their fair share of sinking sharp parts of themselves into us, most of it in fear or kittenhood. Nothing like this, though! I can't imagine what I'd do if they did such damage more than once...

Detroit said...

Seriously creepy man! I had a cat like that growing up and she attacked with no provocation. She would even bang on my bedroom door and push her paw under the door trying to get to me...still haunts my dreams...she also used to hang from the windows meowing. Memories. lol

Andrée said...

This is EXACTLY what my Buddy did when I adopted him. And I adopted him because the old lady who owned him (for only a couple weeks, she had adopted him from a shelter), had been attacked by him, worse than you (if possible). We were sure we would have to put him to sleep, but it's the going outside, expending that energy and hostility outside.

I know it is impolite to promote one's own blog, but you may want (or need!) to read my post about this problem and how I handled it here: http://meeyauw.blogspot.com/2007/01/cat-tuesdays-buddy.html

Buddy is now my favorite cat, believe it or not. Lovable and very enjoyable. He still has his spells but I have learned to usually recognize them. Life is a bit difficult in the winter because it is simply too cold in Vermont for him to go out. But I toss him in the closed garage and set my time (no longer than an hour) so he does not get frostbit and I don't forget he is out in the cold.

Let us know how it goes! This is a serious problem.

Chris said...

Hello. Found you via Andree's blog (http://meeyauw.blogspot.com/) and discovered that you a) live in one of my favourite places in the UK
b) have similar taste in reading matter
c) like cats and
d) write stuff that I like to read so I look forward to being a regular visitor.

My cat sometimes has these yobbish tendencies; they come completely out of the blue but, so far, have not been quite as vicious as your attacks, i.e. he doesn't hang on!
I've always put it down to the fact that he's a 'rescue' cat and came from a group found on a farm, so I guess he could have been semi-wild.

Anyway, hope Leo keeps his mugging to a minimum!

Mike said...

Wow, I think I'd seriously think about getting rid of that cat. Luckily I have only been playfully climbed upon by cats in the past leaving only small puncture wounds to my leg. I hope your leg gets better soon.

 
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