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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Heather Mills-McCartney is an alien

Whenever Heather Mills-McCartney has referred to herself as a vegan, I always assumed it was with a small 'v', as in someone who doesn't consume any foods which are animal-derived. After some of her recent performances, I now realise she means Vegan, as in being a denizen of the Vega star system. I was finally convinced of her alien status when she suggested we should all add rats' milk to our teas or coffees, rather than cows' milk .

Only a clueless fool or an alien could make such a preposterous suggestion. First and foremost, rats are harbingers of numerous infectious and lethal diseases. Has Ms. Mills-McCarthey not heard of Weil's disease, bubonic plague, hanta virus, rickettsial pox or food poisoning? Even if these diseases could not be passed on by drinking rats' milk, the majority of us would find the very thought repugnant in the extreme.

Then, there are the practicalities to consider. Just how much milk would a rat produce, compared to a cow? A teaspoon? We would need billions of rats, and milking them, whether manually or by machinery, would be time-consuming, and probably not a very happy experience for the rats themselves - something an animal rights activist should realise.

I think it's time the media started to ignore this ridiculous, opportunistic, self-obsessed and narcissistic drama queen. I know I shall, from now on. Ugh!

2 comments:

Aileni said...

The rats would be sweet, white creatures and you keep them in your kitchen in a Ratorium, withdrawing one when in need of milk and directly milking it into the cup.
At the end of their lives they could be recycled through the cats and dogs.
The woman is a genius. Why has nobody thought od this before?
She must be from an advanced civilisation....
I can't stand Mccartney either.
A.

Siani said...

I can't abide him either, but I hate her even more! Rat milk. Yuck! Even soya milk would be better, and that stuff is rank, rancid and nasty - a bit like Heather herself.

 
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