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Saturday, August 11, 2007


No, I'm not talking obscenity of the XXX type, but the obscenity of the hour at which I'm awake. Not that it's my choice to be awake at this time, but I got an early morning alarm call from Leo, the cat who bites. At 03.23 he arrived on the rooftop next to the bedroom window and wailed very loudly. For some reason, he took it into his head that he, the one stone cat, could force himself through a one inch gap between the slightly open window and the frame. Somehow he ended up dangling from the window itself, clinging by his front paws to the top of the plastic frame, whilst the rest of him dangled over a twenty foot drop, his hind legs and tails flailing wildly as he glanced down.

I gently eased the window open and the stupid thing somehow managed to hook a hind leg over the frame and hurl himself down onto the interior windowsill. Now bear in mind he was the stupid, hairy creature who decided to embark on this ridiculous course of action, and that I was the one who helped get him out of it. What did he do the instant he landed? Yes, you've guessed it. The bugger bit my arm as he whizzed past, wearing a look of utter contempt, tinged with malice. Thank you, Leo!

To add insult to bite injury, he stayed in for as long as it takes a gluttonous cat to devour a Whiskas pouch and a handful of biscuits, before whizzing back out through the window, with a glare and a contemptuous yowl. Vile creature. I'm now wide awake.

I guess I have no-one but myself to blame for trusting a creature with a face like this. Would you trust him?


jams o donnell said...

Funnily enough, we had Ted give us an extra early alarm call this morning. He comes in through the bedroom window (ground to wall to porch roof to window). I threw him out. He just went out teh cat flap and a couple of minutes later he was in through the window again.

The little git!

Anonymous said...

You are very forebearing - I think Leo and I would have parted company long before this. Thank goodness our cats have always been amiable if mostly crackers.
Due to a situation with Fasthosts, I am making radical changes - I will email you.
Catch up with your sleep.