Chaos and misery

Our home has been invaded by an army of strange men. Strange as in unfamiliar, not weird. Our bathroom has been torn asunder. Not a single room has been untouched by the invaders. I feel like a WW2 Channel Island with Nazis on my soil. I feel occupied.

There is a mile long trail of tools and equipment littered the length of the hall and kitchen. All the cupboards have been emptied to gain access to water mains, pipes, etc, so there's a trail of bin bags and crap everywhere. Plus I've had to kick off to stop them leaving the front door wide open, in a neighbourhood plagued by burglars. One of the guys even opened the oven door and took a peek inside. Why?

To make matters even worse, I need a pee, but there's no door on my bathroom, it's full of men and the water's off. My downstairs neighbour has very kindly gone out for the day, so I can't nip down and use her loo. The only thing I can think of doing is sneaking into the local pub to use their loo. I am so NOT having fun, and I have at least another day of this crap to come, then it'll be plumbers, carpenters, tilers, painters and brickies. Oh what joy! And all I did was report what I thought was a minor repair. The f***ing house can blow up the next time - it's a nicer alternative than this nonsense. At least an explosion would be over in an instant.